House of Wax

Today was actually a pretty good day. Mum and I went shopping so she could have a new outfit for my sister in law's party on Saturday (I have NOTHING that fits, btw). Of course, she wanted to go out for lunch and ended up in Tampopo. I actually did pretty well; I ordered miso soup to start and had some spicy chicken and vegetables for main. I did the most amazing job- I managed to eat a tiny bit of rice, two bites of chicken and all of my veg. I used the rice I didn't eat to wipe most of the sauce off my veggies too. I managed to give mum most of my chicken, at first saying that she had to try some because it was lovely and then saying it was too spicy. I managed to hide most of what I left under my miso soup bowl and used napkins.

After lunch and buying mum's outfit, we went DVD shopping. We spent ages poring over the horror section, looking for old Hammer Horror films and Vincent Price classics. We ended up buying 9 in total, with mum's money of course; I'm going to be screwed for decent films when I finally escape to my own place.

After we got home, we settled in for a lovely movie night. I stuffed most of my tea into a napkin and purged what I didn't. The first film we put on was House of Wax with the wonderful, inimitable Vincent Price. I don't know what it is about Vincent Price and his films, he's not scary (I'm a die-hard, horror junkie) and he's not handsome as such, but his voice, his manner and the way he acts is so amazing, and almost comforting, that I can't fail to be mesmerised every time I put one one. Incidentally (for anyone who cares), House of Wax was the first film to be shown in 3D at the cinema- 10th April, 1953. All the way through, thee things flying at the camera and references that break the fourth wall and address the audience! It was so cute!

As we're watching, there's a sequence where there are some Can-Can dancers, in keeping with the 3D aspect of the original release, there are big close-ups of the girls' legs.
My mum says: "What do you notice about the girls legs, Eff?"
Me: "They're kicking at the camera! People must have thought it crazy when they first saw it!"
Mum: "NO, They're shapely, they get bigger at the top. Like YOUR legs, Eff, like women's legs are supposed to be. Do you think they are fat? Do they look fat to you?"
Me: "No"
Mum: "That's right, they're not. Keep that in mind"
I just wanted to scream: "YES! YES! I FUCKING DO!!!! I THINK THEIR LEGS ARE FAT! I THINK *MY* LEGS ARE FAT!!! THEIR LEGS MIGHT BE FAT, BUT THEY'RE NOT AS FUCKING FAT AS MINE!!! I HATE MY LEGS AND I HATE MY BODY. NOW, LEAVE ME AND MY WEIGHT THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!

But of course, I didn't say that. I'll never say that. Not as long as I've got nowhere else to go. She ruined Vincent Price