I am Miss Eff, and I am addicted to purging

I don’t get it, sometimes I can go days, weeks even without purging; then all of a sudden, I just HAVE to do it again.
Today, I hadn’t eaten a thing since breakfast (porridge - 121) and was actually pretty hungry when I finally had my tea. It was nothing bad even, just baked potato and salad, but as soon as I’d finished I just felt the need to purge.
So I did.
At first, I felt the usual buzz, my heart racing and my head spinning and just generally feling giddy, But now I feel absolutely wretched. I could go down and have something to eat, but part of my brain is thinking: “most of your tea is gone, probably less that 200cals for the whole day!”. Unfortunately, I’m going to listen to my brain this time, drink plenty of water, take some paracetamol and go to bed. Hopefully my headache will stop fairly soon.
I know it’s stupid and I know it’s reckless, but I just can’t stop.